It just wasn't working with E at school. Their solution to his allergies was to have tables in the classroom with several children at each table...and E at a desk by himself. Last year, he ate at a desk by himself, but he was allowed to choose a lunch buddy each day, as long as the child hadn't brought nuts or fish for lunch. He loved it! Well, they no longer allowed that this year. The students also move around a lot each day, from table to table, which was one of the things we liked for our active little guy. This year, they no longer allowed him to do that, either; he had to sit at his desk, alone, all day long.
The result was suppressed anger. E has had a lot of emotional stuff going on at home over the years, but he has never, ever acted out at school or camp. Ever.
This year, he started out with 'happy faces' on his weekly report, especially when it came to respecting his teachers and peers. His teacher even wrote in "Always!" under the 'Respects Teachers' column. It went from that to E being written up almost every day. When he was written up, he had to write what he had done, why he did it, why he shouldn't have done it, and what he could do differently. He was written up for things like breaking the eraser off of his pencil, and when asked why he did it, he said that it was because he was mad. His teacher told me he had no reason to be mad. I totally disagree!
Another time, he said that the reason he was being distractive was because he wanted to make his teacher mad! I knew that his teacher was sometimes frustrated with him, and I asked him how he felt about her. He lit up and said that he really liked her! So, he was just angry with being isolated and left out, and he was acting out because of that.
So, we've been communicating with the local public school, where he will be in a peanut-free classroom (because they have a cafeteria, whereas his other school didn't), and will also receive the behavioral and special education support he needs. He's excited about it, and I'm praying for the best.
E has been home all week with asthma, and next week is vacation. He was scheduled to have an EEG on Monday to rule out seizures, but they couldn't do it because his asthma was so bad, so we had to reschedule. It's been a long week at home because he's out of his routine and is struggling emotionally. I'm trying to make the best of it, but I'm drained. I've been dreaming about a vacation...
Nick is so angry about the whole school situation. I understand his anger and frustration. The directors of the school clearly think that we're over the top, and they've made comments about the fact that no other parents are so strict with how their child's allergies are handled, and how nothing the school does will ever be enough for us.
It's easy to start feeling like we're trouble makers...and then I read the story about yet another child who died from eating peanuts. I'd heard about it when he passed away last month, after being in a coma for quite awhile, but it wasn't nearly as publicized as some of the other recent allergy deaths. The article I read today highlighted his parents urging other parents to have an allergy plan and to take their children's allergies seriously.
It just drove home how serious this really is. One of the final straws was last week, when E informed me that they were having a 'Snack Shack' and asked if he could take in money to buy a snack. He knew that they were selling Doritos, which are safe for him. So I put his money in a bag, along with a note to his teacher, telling her that he was allowed to buy Doritos.
Well, he came home from school with two empty bags, neither of which were Doritos. I asked E what happened, and he just said that he was trying to look on the labels to see if there were any peanut symbols on them. He'd decided that he didn't want Doritos so he bought two things that looked like things he'd eaten before.
He never should have done that, and I spoke to him about it, but how on earth did it happen? Why hadn't his teacher made sure that he bought the Doritos? I called the school, spoke with the principal, who said that she would look into it.
Apparently, the food was sold by older students to raise money. E told his teacher about the Doritos and showed her the note, and she told him to put the money in his pocket. When it was time for Snack Shack, the children who had brought money left the classroom, without an adult, and went to purchase the foods, unsupervised. E was able to purchase whatever he wanted, and no one checked on him.
True to form, the principal blew it all off as no big deal, which to me was a clear indication that she just does not get it. Maybe it takes an allergy parent to see that that's the kind of slip up that can quickly go bad and lead to a catastrophe. All I know is that we couldn't keep taking chance after chance...and there had been quite a few incidents since school started.
I realized that I'm angry, too., but maybe my anger's just buried a little deeper, or clouded by all of the other things that go on in this family each day. I'm worried for other children with severe food allergies, in that school and other places where people aren't aware or don't understand the seriousness.
For now, I'm looking ahead. We toured E's school, and it seems really nice. It's bigger than his current school, which is very small, but is still a reasonable size. I was so impressed with the staff we met and how they connected with E right away. E was excited because there were a lot of pictures of students outside their classrooms, and he recognized quite a few of them from church, summer camp, and the Boys & Girls Club.
I'm sure it will be challenging at times, dealing with the schedules and activities of four different schools. I'm also sure that it won't be as stressful as what we've been dealing with so far this school year!
