Candies and Parties and Fears

I've lost count of the number of emails that have gone back and forth between E's and GracieGirl's teachers and myself this past week.

Why?

In our case, it's complicated by the fact that both children are in multiple classrooms, so there are several Valentine's Day parties and lots of teachers involved.

Once again, I'm wishing I could be one of those moms who just send their kids off to school without a second thought about parties and Valentine's candy. On that note, I read a really good article today:

10 Things to Know about Food Allergies in the Classroom
by Gina Clowes of Allergy Moms

One of the things that really resounded with me was the Balancing Act, where she talks about how we, as parents, have to do everything we can to keep our children safe, while also letting them have as much of a normal childhood as possible, adding that, with kids with severe allergies, there are no do-overs.

With GracieGirl, if she eats wheat, she'll be itchy and uncomfortable and may have a stomach ache. With E, if he eats tree nuts or peanuts, he can die. So yes, I am a pain in the butt when it comes to checking and rechecking what he eats at school. It may look different for you and your child, if your child has mild allergies, but it's a whole different ballgame with a kiddo with life-threatening allergies.

The article also talks about people feeling that we're overly anxious when we won't let our kids eat baked goods. I remember, shortly after E was diagnosed, being at a party and someone offering him a rice crispy treat. I said that I didn't know what was in it and that he was allergic to nuts. She gave me a "you are being way too over-protective" look, saying that no one ever puts nuts in rice crispy treats. I felt bad because, like I said, E had just been diagnosed and this was all new to me. Now I don't bat an eye if someone makes a comment like that. He doesn't eat baked goods; end of story. Oh, and people certainly do put peanut butter in rice crispy treats! ;)

I just stopped to reply to another email from a teacher about Valentine's candy. I love that my kids' teachers go the extra mile, but that doesn't mean that my kids are safe. I'd mentioned the story of the boy who survived an allergic reaction to peanut butter at school by being put on a heart-lung bypass machine; here is another story with more details, including how he came to eat the peanut butter. In both his case, and in the tragic case of the little girl who died in Virginia, the foods were brought in by another student.

On Valentine's Day, I have to worry about the candy that E's classmates may give him. His school is peanut-free, but tree nuts are allowed. I don't even want him touching anything that has tree nuts in it. In addition, we also have to take away most, if not all, of the candy that his classmates give him, which leaves us with one sad little boy.

The article ends by saying, "If you are one of those parents who goes the extra mile to bring the “safe” brand of chips or chocolate, or who tapes trinkets to your child’s Valentine cards instead of candy, then you are my hero too."

I couldn't agree more!

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